Temperament Counseling for the Absent or Neglectful Father and Daughter Relationship

Parents play a unique role in the life of their children.  The father/daughter relationship is special in a number of ways.  It is foundational to the life of a little girl, young lady, and adult woman because it colors her self-confidence, self-adequacy, independence, resiliency, femininity, and sexual self-image.  As she grows into womanhood, her father’s attitudes and behaviors toward her will either encourage or retard her growth to maturity.  Lamentably, the young female psyche is more fragile, impressionable, and vulnerable than most fathers are unaware.

Fathers tend to fall into three main categories: nurturing, absent or neglectful.  Clearly, the nurturing type is what every girl needs to help her reach optimal self-assuredness across all facets of life.  However, all too often it is the absent or neglectful father who knowingly or unknowingly wreaks the kind of deep emotional havoc that can endure for a lifetime.      

Less than optimal fathering can create ‘father love deprivation’, which manifests as father hunger.  This is the insatiable need for fatherly love which, if not received during critical periods in development, will be sought out in maladaptive and distorted ways later in life.  In general, father-love-hungry-women will either develop a deep-seated anger toward all the men who come into their life or they will form an excessive and indiscriminate appetite for men (also known as being ‘man crazy’).  In the former case, a woman may subconsciously punish and drive away possible love partners in an attempt to complete through them the never-ending cycle of unfinished business with her father.  In the case of ‘man crazy’ woman, her challenge is one of constantly trying to find a relationship that will satisfy her craving for intense love and acceptance.  However, when she finally find a good partner, she become dissatisfied quickly because the love offered is never enough in her estimation.   They are many other issues that arise from having an absent or neglectful father.  However, these are among some the most consequential and enduring.

If you are a love-deprived daughter, Temperament Counseling can help you identify your natural needs and wants, whether they are being met, and how they can best be met in healthy and adaptive ways. It can also provide insight into why your love relationships may not be fulfilling and how you might be sabotaging perfectly good love relationships in adulthood. It can help you learn who you really are and how to live a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

“Knowing Others is Intelligence
Knowing Yourself is True Wisdom
Mastering Others is Strength
Mastering Yourself is True Power”
— Laozi
 

Inquire About Father-Daughter Relationship

Who is Father/Daughter Temperament Counseling best suited for?

  • Stepfathers/Stepmothers

  • Adoptive Fathers/Mothers

  • Grandfathers/Grandmothers

  • Live-in Boyfriends/Girlfriends

  • Guardians/Caretakers

  • Daughters (of any age) of Absent, Abuse and/or Neglectful Fathers

  • Single Mothers

  • Separated and/or Divorced Mothers

  • Single Fathers

  • Separated and/or Divorced Fathers

How can Temperament Counseling help you?

Daughters of absent and/or neglectful fathers grow up adopting certain thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in order to survive a childhood that lacks nurturance.  However, that way of thinking often proves dysfunctional in an adult love relationship.  In other words, what helped you cope in childhood can destroy your relationship in adulthood. All too often, you are unaware that you are dragging early subconscious patterns and motivations into current adult love relationships; yet you are left feeling hurt and confused when your love relationships do not work out.   Dysfunction in childhood goes hand in glove with not receiving adequate love and support when you most needed it and its vestiges manifest in many of the following symptoms and behaviors in adulthood:

  • Depression

  • Anxiety

  • Struggles for Intimacy/Trust Issues

  • Addictions

  • Low Self-Esteem

  • Compulsive Behaviors

  • Eating Disorders

  • Self-Harming

These are essentially defense mechanisms that result from stressors in life, which act as barriers that insulate us from the deep feelings of pain that come from early trauma.

Temperament Counseling in the context of the father/daughter relationship can significantly improve and increase the following:

  • Compassion

  • Self-Respect

  • Self-Love

  • Communication Skills

  • Coping Strategies

  • Lifestyle Changes

  • Supportive Network

  • Insight

  • Confidence

  • Trust

  • Understanding

  • Patience

  • Resilience

  • Tolerance

What to Expect

As stated above, Temperament Counseling can provide you with the personal tools to cope with your emotions, identify your needs/wants/expectations in the context of a healthy loving romantic relationship, and learn how you might have been sabotaging your relationships.  Awareness is the first step.  We then work together to learn and implement more adaptive thoughts and behaviors so that you will be able enjoy a fulfilling love relationship.  You will be asked to complete the online Temperament Questionnaire (APS), which takes about 20 minutes, and to provide information on your family of origin, in particular your father. Temperament Counseling is helpful whether your father is alive or deceased. This is because our goal is to heal you, the wounded daughter.  Sometimes it is helpful if the father is still alive, but it is not crucial for meaningful change to occur.  

You may be given reading assignments to enhance your own learning and asked to work on particular exercises/techniques during sessions. The sessions involve learning about your own temperament and how it may or may not be aligning with your father’s early expectations, life circumstances and other relationship dynamics. This is an opportunity to share any fear, anger, worry, grief, stress or anxiety in a safe and confidential setting with a trained counselor who can help explore your thoughts and emotions, expectations, needs, wants, behaviors, strengths and weaknesses. Therapy often involves gaining insight and refocusing perspective as well as learning more adaptive communication skills, problem-solving strategies, and conflict resolution techniques.  Delving into the father/daughter relationship can be very painful, but it is only by confronting your pain from the past that you can overcome your grief and move onto better emotional well-being in the present and future.

Sometimes clients are apprehensive about starting Counseling because of the stigma attached to mental illness and the fear that working with a professional might make an issue even bigger and more unmanageable then it was prior to therapy. These are understandable concerns but it is important to keep in mind that you are working with a professional counselor who has the education and training to keep you safe and comfortable.

If you think you could benefit from Father/Daughter Temperament Counseling, schedule an appointment
by calling 571-490-1795 or sending us a message via the “Inquire about this Service” form.