Separation and/or Divorce Temperament Counseling

There is no pain quite like separation and/or divorce. Most couples fall in love and get married because they truly believe they have found their soul mate and that their union will last forever. When the reality that their marriage has ended hits home, it can be devastating, even debilitating. Many factors mitigate the pain of separation and divorce, not least of which is whether you saw it coming. In cases where the break up was unforeseen by one partner, it can cause deep trauma along the lines of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In fact, some of the symptoms that emanate from separation and divorce are similar to those suffered with PTSD. Symptoms of foggy brain, forgetfulness, playing a scenario over and over in your mind are quite typical of people traumatized by the end of their relationship.

Partners who choose to terminate their marriage also suffer deep pain from the disappointment that their union did not work out. There are many reasons people walk away from their marriage. Often there is abuse, be it emotional or physical, that characterizes the relationship and they have lived in those circumstances for years. Any attempt at change may have been met with additional abuse turning any residual hope into hopelessness. There may have been mental illness in the relationship which was never acknowledged or addressed.

Despite the rationale for ending a marriage, both partners suffer from pain and disappointment. In some cases, the pain can last for decades and the partner is not able to move on. This can be because the person is suffering from pain that goes further back than their former spouse. The pain may come from childhood wounds of feeling unloved. In such cases, the partner is not only suffering the loss of the spouse but is also grieving abandonment that dates back to early parenting . This is compounded grief.

It does not end there. The emotional turmoil that comes with separation and divorce is only one ordeal. Very quickly, attention must be turned to the wellbeing of any children and/or consideration of finances, living quarters, changes in lifestyle and more. Soon after that may come the need for an attorney to find ways to protect oneself, the family and assets. And this is where the real fight begins as you attempt to maintain what’s rightfully yours. The cruel irony for many is that they are required to make important far-reaching financial and legal decisions that can gravely influence their future when they are the least able to focus and evaluate their options.

Temperament Counseling can help to uncover some of the deep issues underlying the grieving process that may be preventing you from moving on. It can also be very beneficial in dealing with the typical fall out of the break up of a long-term relationship. It is a safe place to examine mixed emotions and explore new beginnings. Learning what happened in your relationship can help restore your faith and hope in the future. It can help you heal and put you on a path towards toward new and better relationship with yourself, your family and your friends. Temperament Counseling will provide you with new ways to think about who you are, what your purpose is and how you can go about it.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.”
— Eckhart Tolle
 

Inquire About Separation and Divorce

What can Separation and/or Divorce Temperament Counseling help with?

  • Betrayal

  • Infidelity

  • Inadequacy

  • Lowered Self-Esteem

  • Feeling Unattractive

  • Mistrust

  • Forgiveness

  • Your Former Spouse

  • Decisions around Child Custody

  • Financial Worry

  • Legal Obligations

  • Moving On…

  • Living Single

  • New Beginnings

  • Dating

  • Pain

  • Trauma

  • Denial

  • Anger

  • Rage

  • Loneliness

  • Helplessness

  • Hopelessness

  • Fear

  • Bitterness

  • Resentment

  • Jealousy

  • Confusion

  • Guilt

  • Shame

  • Abandonment

Who can benefit?

The pain of separation and divorce can be deep-seated and multi-causal. Temperament Separation and Divorce Counseling can help you greatly in cases where:

  • Your divorce was some years ago but you’re having troubling moving on…

  • You divorced some years ago but you are continuously disappointed by love relationships

  • You wish to make a clean start, examine your past mistakes, and find a fulfilling love partner

  • You are considering separation and divorce

  • You are separated

  • You are going through a divorce

  • You have recently gone through a divorce

What to Expect

Separation and divorce Temperament Counseling is not easy, but it is truly rewarding if you are prepared to do the work on yourself. Taking a long hard look at yourself and your partner is not a simple process. It takes courage and a professional to guide you through what went wrong in your relationship. It is only by being introspective and prepared to examine your own thoughts, behaviors, expectations, needs and judgments that you can learn and grow from the experience. It takes self-knowledge and relational awareness to keep from repeating the same mistakes in a new relationship. The rewards far outweigh the effort but it is not for everyone. In fact, most people choose to bury their head in the sand and blame the other for all the problems in the marriage. That’s fine only if you recognize that you are likely to take those same behaviors into your next relationship. If you are tired of the same old results, it is time to try Separation and Divorce Temperament Counseling.

Clients are asked to complete the online Temperament Questionnaire (APS) which takes about 20 minutes. They are also required to provide information on their family of origin. They are sometimes given reading assignments to enhance their own learning and asked to work on particular exercises/techniques during sessions. The sessions involve learning about one’s temperament and how it may or may not be aligning with specific relationship expectations and life circumstances. This is an opportunity for the client to share their fear, anger, worry, grief, stress or anxiety in a safe and confidential setting with a trained counselor who can help them to explore their thoughts and emotions, expectations, needs, wants, behaviors, strengths and weaknesses. Therapy often involves gaining insight and refocusing perspective as well as learning more adaptive communication skills, problem-solving strategies, and conflict resolution techniques.

Sometimes clients are apprehensive about starting Counseling because of the stigma attached to mental illness and the fear that working with a professional might make an issue even bigger and more unmanageable then it was prior to therapy. These are understandable concerns but it is important to keep in mind that you are working with a professional counselor who has the education and training to keep you safe and comfortable.

In short, Separation and Divorce Temperament Counseling can help you through the process of grieving the end of your relationship. It can help you get your life back on track and restore hope. It can keep you emotionally grounded as you work through the various stages of divorce. You can gain insight into why your partner was not able to meet your needs and wants, and how you may have contributed to the demise of your relationship. All of this is so that you never repeat the same mistakes again. Temperament Counseling can help prepare you for the next significant love in your life.

If you think you could benefit from Separation or Divorce Temperament Counseling, schedule an appointment
by calling 571-490-1795 or sending us a message via the “Inquire about this Service” form.